Have you ever been too sad and/or too angry to verbalize your feelings?
That’s where I am. I’m a big, knotted up, angry, sad mess right now and I’m okay with that. So far not a day has gone by that I haven’t cried. Of course, I’ve only teared up so far today so they water works may be held at bay for a day. Wouldn’t that be nice???
Dealing with hurt is never easy for anyone. When we are kids, we turn to our parents (or parental figure) for comfort until we learn how to cope on our own. Even as am adult, it would be nice to have that same comfort when the emotional pain is so severe.
I suppose that’s why I pray. See, even as a kid I didn’t really have that parental (or parental figure) to turn to for comfort. I had God. So no matter how far from him I have strayed in my life, He’s always been there for me and let me lean on Him when my heart is broken.
That’s a true support system. But it is one that takes faith and in times of heartbreak, it can be very difficult to have much faith, if any at all. However, if you can find just a little faith in Him, I guarantee it’s worth it.
My faith is tested when things don’t happen as I prayed that they would or turn out how I felt they should. When this happens, my initial reaction is anger, disappointment, and frustration.
Then I’m reminded that just because it didn’t happen the way I thought it should or when I thought it should, does it mean that God didn’t answer my prayer. It’s then that my faith is tested even more as I have to just understand that God is doing everything in his time, in his way.
Now, I know it may sound like I’m preaching. I’m really not. I’m just putting out there the way that I am able to get through a lot of my struggles. As I’ve said before, I am not a religious person. However, I am very grateful that I have a higher power that I can look too. I am blessed to have someone bigger than me that I can throw my problems on when they are too big for me to handle.