I never thought I would find someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. But then I found him, he found me, we found each other.

The connection was strong between us,  it was powerful. It felt like everything in the universe came together just so we could find each other. Silly,  I know. 

He made me feel loved and safe. When I was with him, the rest of the world could have been falling apart but I felt like I would always be safe and loved. 

We had so many things in common. Everything seemed to just fit. It’s like we each had the missing pieces to each other’s puzzles. I didn’t pretend to be something I wasn’t around him. 

I just knew he was the one. I just knew that I would spend the rest of my life with him. Now it appears that I was wrong.
Laying here with tears running down my face, and I am heartbroken and angry but I also know that there is nothing else I could have done. Someone either loves you or they don’t. Looks like he just didn’t. 

I think that makes it worse when you know that there is nothing that could have been done. It would be easier if I could blame myself for not being good enough, for not being all in, for holding back, for just not doing enough. Now I just blame myself for being stupid. The stupidity is not giving me any kind of closure. 

I guess I could try to blame the drugs. But he’s been off of them for nearly two weeks and only hates me more. It just kills me that he hates me for things that I have not done. I’m being punished for things I have not done. It’s so unfair!
It’s unfair that I find someone did I truly give my all to, someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with only to have it turn out like this. Nobody ever said life was fair.

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