How could I have believed him when he said he loved me.  I’ll never make that mistake again. He does nothing but mock me now. Still accuses me of sleeping around on him. Accuses me of sneaking out in the middle of the night to be tied up by a high school boyfriend who had never had sex with it haven’t seen since high school. Then even makes the comment that I had sex with someone in the bed right next to him. 

I’ve not been with anyone but him since we’ve been together, haven’t wanted to be with anyone but him. 

How could I have allowed get to get this far? I should have ended it months ago when all of this first started, well, when it started getting bad. 

See, he kept saying that I was on Facebook Messenger all of the time. I hardly get on to Facebook. He was accusing me of getting on there all throughout the night. So in trying to show him that he had nothing to worry about, I show him my Facebook Messenger.

Unfortunately, there was a message from a boy in high school. Now I graduated high school in 96 so it’s been awhile since I’ve been in school. This guy was a boyfriend in 8th grade and when I moved back to my hometown, we stayed in touch.  He was supposed to take me to my junior prom but bailed on me a week before saying he had gotten into trouble. We got into a huge fight comma I hung up on him, and haven’t actually spoken to him since. I think we our friends on Facebook but I’m also friends with a ton of people from school Facebook.

Anyway, this message from high school guy talked about how he has always thought of me throughout the years. He apologized for not taking me to prom and then talked about how I supposedly told him that day that he never followed through with anything and it always stuck with him. He said that he thought about me and that day constantly.

So of course the plan to show that nothing was going on on my Facebook Messenger blew up in my face. It did not matter how many times I told him that I haven’t seen this man since we were teenagers.  He instantly assumed I had a prior sexual relationship with him and even though I told him otherwise, he doesn’t believe me. 

To make matters worse,  I didn’t respond to the guy for a while because I didn’t know how to handle it. Sometimes, I tend to avoid things like that just to not have to deal with an awkward situation. High School guy  liked and commented on a picture on my Instagram, saying how perfect I was. Well this caused another huge fight. After all, I must be leaving the door open with this guy and must have had a sexual past with him otherwise why would he say such things? 

So I finally responded to the high school guy.

I explained to him how weird it was hearing from him like that after so many years. I told him that I was happy and in love and would soon be engaged.  

This wasn’t good enough because I hadn’t done it immediately. He also didn’t believe that I hiding other messages from high school guy. Since then, the cheating accusations if gotten progressively worse. I now wonder if his delusions that I was sneaking out and hooking up with Phantom guys may have all stemmed from his insecurities about this. I don’t know if that’s how a meth induced delusions work or not but psychologically seems possible.

But hey, I’m the idiot laying in bed without her fiance so what the f*** do I know? 


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