So it’s Good Friday.  That’s good, right?  Well, in many ways it is… unless you’re the mate of a meth addict.

My fiance and I have not been together all that long but I love him with every fiber in my being.  I knew about his usage up front – he was honest with me about it so I was appreciative and accepted it.  After all, who am I to judge him?  I’m not perfect.  I have my own demons so why should I look down on him for his?  I made a decision up front that I would not let his drug use affect whether or not we continued in a relationship, that if we didn’t make it, it would be based on us and our compatibility.

You’re likely thinking that I’m crazy.  I know.  I’ve had those thoughts from time to time as well.  Even so, as time went forward, I committed myself to this man that I fell completely and madly in love with.  It’s unexplainable (is that even a word?)  Neither of us ever thought we could feel the way we do about each other.  Ever seen Jerry McGuire?  Well, as cheesy as it may sound, I now understand because he completes me.  My life would have a HUGE hole in it if he weren’t around.

BUT…

I wish he was around WITHOUT HIS METH.

I don’t have anyone to talk to about what I’m going through with his addiction.  He and I discuss it but I’m usually left feeling hurt and misunderstood.  I think he is usually left feeling the same way.  So I am using this particular piece of the web to vent.  To get some of my hurt and pain off of my chest anonymously.  Nobody may ever read this and that’s okay.  But if someone does read it, hopefully they will reach out to me because I do feel extremely alone right now.

 

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